Estoril

We did not book the Estoril hotel but the Penzance Seaside studios. It is the same place, although confusingly, when you arrive the signage is all for the Estoril Hotel. Well located within a 5 minute walk of the promenade and (up the hill) a 5 minute walk to the town centre, the hotel is an old victorian buidling with a small well kept tiny garden with attractive summer flowers. Car parking was a problem. You can park on the street outside after 5 pm and before 9 am (if you can find a place) and the hotel has two small and hard to get into parking places. We struggled to find parking actually. Some things about the place are good. Our 'delux' appartment was in fact a large high ceilinged room with a double and a single bed, a tiny kichen area (with sink, microwave, hot plates and adequate crockery and cutlery - even some tea bags and a fridge) The toilet was in a tiny cubicle and the bathroom (with a bath) was also in a narrow windowless cubicle. The room had a coffee table, wardrobe, two easy chairs, a table for eating or working, a hair drier, good free wifi and a large screen TV. BUT IT WAS SO OLD! The furniture was very old - 1950's ? the curtains were ancient, the bed linen was uncomfortable and two hot for summer and everything just looked and felt old and tiired and worn and frankly ready to throw out. We paid £135/night for this place (no breakfast) and were so disappointed by the standard of the room. The owners, Eddie and Nong, keep the place tidy and clean (although our room was never serviced in three days) and were helpful enough. Through this review I implore them to spend some money and refurbish their rooms. If you are charging top prices people expect better. It is rare that I write such critical reviews but the place is in serious need of some money to be spent. Until that happens I can write anything more positive.

Estoril is a new type of bed and breakfast modelled on the anonymity of Easyjet or HMRC – in other words, the absence of human contact. It works like this. You book online and they leave a key outside in a key box that needs a code. Then you get the key for your room. But you have to chase them to get this information. Breakfast is ordered via a form and appears outside your room at 0800, not earlier, not later. You don’t actually see anyone. With this arrangement you think, won’t the bacon and eggs (or whatever ) go cold? Don’t worry, you ain’t getting any. Just a cheese sandwich and a croissant., some fruit or cereal. But five items only! Gotta watch those margins. You want coffee? Well, you’ve got sachets of Nescafe instant in your room, what else do you want? I can’t speak for all of the rooms, but the one I had was taller than it was wider, the bedside light had all the power of glow worm in a tea cup,. There was one light in the centre of the room. It had all the atmosphere of a bus station. Though clean, it cried out for a make over and the toilet seat was amusingly mobile when you sat on it. It calls itself a private hotel and charges accordingly. If you are running a B & B in Penzance, this is a reassuringly low bar to easily clear. Next night, in Falmouth, I was at another B& B – half the price and amazing in every respect. But that’s another story!

My sister in law booked this hotel for us all for a family break we stayed 2 nights. Although it was self check in it was so easy. Front door was open all day. Beautiful flowers in garden and a small pond with seating outside . In side was quirky but gorgeous decor pretty cushions and furniture. Someone was always there for emergencies and help. Lots of helpful information in room. Breakfast was ordered night prior and arrived on time and was delicious. Cleaning was amazing beyond our expectations. Couldn’t fault any aspect beautiful rooms and some communal areas if you want to sit downstairs with friends. Perfect